Q:  i have a dilemna...i hate my wife......an like another woman...suggestions??

A: First of all i am going to tell you right off i will be blunt about this.  I will not sugar coat my answer at all, and i am not going to give you a christian spiritual answer.

"Hate" is a strong word to use against someone.  What has brought on this hatred? Why do you harbor these strong deeps feeling of hatred towards your wife?  What makes this other woman so special, so different? Is it  the new factor? Does the other woman feel the same? You have to honestly sit down and think about these questions. 

I know part of your backstory with your wife, and from what you have told me i would start the divorce process.  I normally would not go that direction, but in this case i think it would be the best way to go. I dont want to go into detail on what is going on for sake of privacy.

As for the other woman i would step back and look at the whole picture, your married i dont think you need to be concentrating on another woman or thinking about a relationship at this point when you are still married and are conflicting over what you should do with your wife.

For yourself i think you need to get the divorce take time to find out who you are and what you like and want.  Be single for awhile enjoy your kids, your life.  Being married with someone you end up meshing personalities and you can sometimes loose a sense of who you are.  Just step back and breath you have a long difficult road ahead of you.  You just need to take the first step out. 

Good luck.
Bable